scribbles.

you can make them bounce :D

Thursday, April 12, 2007

11 April is the worst day of my 2007 so far.
we lost our match, 3-2 to NJC.
i would be lying if i say that we didnt have high hopes on this match.
i would be lying if i say that we only felt a little disappointed with the outcome.
i would be lying if i say that we all didnt feel any regrets after we played our games.
and i would be lying if i say that im not proud of AJC squash, even after our match.

we know we have what it takes to defeat them, but maybe luck just wasnt on our side this time round.
maybe top four wasnt meant to be ours.
just couldn't make the cut.

and i was the first to cry in front of so many people yesterday.
i didnt even have time to react and run to the toilet, i just couldn't stop my tears when it hit me really hard that we couldn't make it to the top four.
even as coach was talking to us my tears kept coming out, cos i know he's really disappointed.
when he told me i played the best yesterday, i didn't feel any better.
cried even harder.
ey, but i wasn't the only emo-mo girl lor, botak and jas teared too.
and i know all of us felt lousy inside, just that not everyone showed it out.

wanted to call someone right after the match cos i was feeling really really terrible.
but i didn't.
anyway we had a talk with coach about random stuff, and everything seemed to brighten up abit. (:

life is so unfair, because we can't have everything that we want to.
we trained hard, we sweat a whole truckload during pt and runs, we got hit by the racket and balls and had a thousand bruises, we worked so hard for it.
but i'm not about to give it up just because of our loss today, squash is part of my life.
and we're still seven wonderful girls, despite the result today.
i love all of you. (:

we still have three more matches to win next week!
alright, RJC might be A LITTLE HARDER la, hahaha.

thanks to everyone who tried to make me un-sad.
i couldn't bring myself to talk and smile like normal yesterday and today, but i really really appreciate what these people did for me.
so sorry if i attituded anyone in school today, didn't exactly feel like showing my sunshine smile la. :/

disappointment + disappointment + disappointment
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

it's not a good idea to rely on others too much, because then you wouldn't know what to do if one day they suddenly disappear.
it's scary to feel empty.